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An in memoriam of people who have pissed me off in recent history. None of these people are dead, to my knowledge, and if they are, sorry about that. Edinburgh Fringe Festival for doing what I consider to be elder scamming, to me specifically, last year. Venue that charged $20 for what was marketed as a cocktail and ended up being a frat house ass drink in a plastic cup that was mostly mezcal and ruined my life. Eggplant parm bite recipe from a food blog that did not have everyone’s best interests at heart, but did have a website that almost gave my computer a virus. Natural wine store cashier who got really frosty when she couldn’t upsell me, all while wearing an ugly shirt (sort of like if Sandy Liang made shirts for Disney adults with DUIs). White woman who chirped “excuse me!” before straight up cutting me in line at the grocery store with her bimbo dog (no offense to the dog but the energy was hard to ignore. Dog was complicit). Chani Nicolas because I think she’s been using a little bit of ChatGPT, but if I’m wrong, I know there’s something else sinister afoot. Anyone I have feuded with during white elephant games past, present and future. If my luck turns around, I will stop pissing myself off soon.